Next on the list of things to tackle was where to live. My brain froze at the thought. Move again! Uproot myself again! I have done this too many times in my life!

I realized that before I even started to look for another place I would have to do some major de-cluttering and letting go if I was to clear a space for something new and positive to come in.  Both material and spiritual letting go.

I am a squirrel. I keep all sorts of things. Mementos of all the different projects, passions, adventures and dreams of my long life.  Books and notes that I’m sure could be useful to Somebody. Clothes that I keep hoping will fit me again.

But all the signs were saying to me that I had reached another critical point – a new direction – so I took to heart the message in the photo above.

I grit my teeth and tackled one box at a time.

The problem is that to decide what to throw out you have to go through stuff.

It felt like a review of my life.

This has been the hardest part of my journey so far. All those memories; all those dreams; all the grand plans to change the world – largely unfulfilled or only partly so. The broken relationships mixed in with the sweet memories.

A deep sinking feeling came over me that I was running out of time to achieve any of my major goals; to leave a lasting legacy.

The nasty little voice that lives in the cave of my heart grew loud. “Seven decades – and what have you actually achieved?” “So you chose to save the world – Look at you now – no house, a miserly income, uncertain health.” For what?!!

I fell into a dark place.

I allowed myself to grieve.

Stay with me to find out how I came out of this.

If you haven’t seen the previous installments of the story go to:

https://thinkittalkit.com/living-in-the-question-mark-1/

https://thinkittalkit.com/living-in-the-question-mark-2/

https://thinkittalkit.com/living-in-the-question-mark-3/

If you like this, please share with anyone you think might resonate with it.  And please continue to comment. I love hearing from you!